I am so tired I feel like my eyeballs are going to shrivel up and implode.
And after further pondering, I do believe that they must have edited out the chapter “Extreme Sleep Deprivation” from all my baby books. I’d even gone back to check at one point, {newbie that I was} and honestly people! At what point after you’ve realized what is going to be popping out your va-jayjay could they miss a SLEEP chapter? Because its just that bad, that’s why.
Or else it isn’t. And then you get to listen to doctors every 3 months suggest reading books on how to make it better. Reading books…they’re funny. If I can’t Google it, search it, or scan it in less time then it takes for sibling rivalry to reach WWIII over cheesy puffs then it ain’t happening.
Frankly, I’m thinking that a better baby shower gift to the new mommy would be an instructional booklet on how to climb Mt. Everest. With your bare hands…backwards. All while also mounting a few handsprings to simply make it look pretty. Now THAT would more adequately describe the journey of {impending} motherhood.
Because you get drugs in the hospital for that initial {WTF} enlightenment. God even makes sure your flooded with pride when that kid clamps on to your boob the first time. {And every agonizing time afterward till your officially as tough as an udder.} And there are even OTC pills for when Mother Nature reminds you of how much she missed you for ten+ months. But no. All I get now is some cheeky young MD telling me to read a book and “nap when they do”. Okay doc…what if they NEVER nap??? Her reply? “Read the book.”
And with that I can suddenly envision what viral {re}action creates the first zombie.
Camille says
I love large families and I really wish we had one, but every single time I see a mama with a lot of kids (meaning any over 2), I wonder how in the world she gets any sleep! She must have a lock on her door….
@MryJhnsn from iNeedaPlaydate says
I swear they have stock in the publishing company. I still don’t sleep, two years later – sigh.